I started a personal project photographing some of my close friends so thought It will be fitting to add it to this post.
What is friendship?
As you get older, you realize your friendship circle gets smaller and smaller. Not because you don’t care, or they don’t matter (Well sometimes that’s the case). Sometimes you just grow and maybe that friendship no longer adds value to your life, or you are just two different people now. That’s what happens in most cases. That you both don’t value the friendship enough to make the effort. Either way, you learn there is friendships are exactly like dating. Some need constant communication, and then those friendships that strive and survive on an SMS or call once every few months. I guess you both just have to understand how your friendship works.
Some friendships are instant, others take years to develop. Time really can’t tell the difference, sometimes you just click, and it feels as if you’ve known them forever.
Then there are people who think you are their friend because you are friendly, and greet them every day at work etc. Does that make us friends? A sweet SMS, a phone call does it makes us friends? A letter? An email? A visit to my home? I could be a colleague or someone you met at a party, that doesn’t always make us friends just because I’m friendly.
If I miss you and need you or want to see you, I’ll call and SMS you, & I visit you, then you’d possibly be my friend.
Sometimes when you stop making the effort you realize that you were the only one trying to make this friendship work. Sometimes they don’t even notice, and that makes you reconsider the friendship, in all aspects. The people I thought were my friends, guess aren’t when you the only one reaching out. I obviously thought more of the friendship than they did. When I stop trying, and when you stop reaching out. And I hear nothing from you then you should think about. Where does your friendship stand? Are we even still friends?
Mmm, I guess I don’t know?
Friendship is a two-way street
”You can’t just leave it in the cupboard or think it’s going to get on by itself.
You’ve got to keep watering it.
You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”-John Lennon
I had a few friends break my heart. Some left me guttered. Some people I argued with, some I didn’t care enough to fix it, to make things right. Some who hurt me and I just cut them out of my life. Others I don’t even waste a minute to think about. It’s not always a bad thing to write people off, I grew up and it was a coping mechanism to keep moving forward. If people have no interest in your life, and or are toxic to your self-image and soul. They don’t deserve a place in your life.
Some people leave a gap and some days you wonder about them. Others you are grateful you walked away and are better off without them in your life. I still think about her, but know we better off not friends
We all go through it, you just have to make the effort for those that matter and those who make the effort for you.
It breaks you, some years later you finally understand what happened and why it happened the way it did. Others you never get closure for, but you also somehow find peace.
It’s okay to lose friends, it’s all apparently part of life process.
I hope you keep those who go out their way to keep you too.
They are worth it